The world of human beings cannot function without organization, and every organization needs to have leadership, someone with authority to make decisions. This whole concept is suspect today. People have had too much experience with unjust, corrupt, authoritarian, and oppressive people in power. But the concept remains valid.

In Colossians 3:18-4:1, Paul talked about how authority structures—the relationship between those in authority and those under them—should work. He gave several examples: husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and slaves (bosses and workers). Nowadays, people reading this passage tend to get focused on just the husband-wife relationship and argue that marriage should be egalitarian, with both partners having equal authority. Unfortunately, this argument distracts people from paying attention to Paul’s main point. On the other hand, the marriage relationship is clearly one that needs addressing. The attempt to make marriage “egalitarian” might be one reason so many modern marriages end in divorce, if that means that both partners insist on doing things their way instead of working together and finding ways to compromise. On the other hand, the idea that the husband should be the boss in a marriage has led to very serious problems. To be clear, this passage does not tell husbands to maintain an authority position over their wives. The instruction to submit was given to wives, not to husbands. Husbands are told only to love their wives. Husbands who think it is their job to maintain an authority position in a household are faced with a dilemma. How are they supposed to achieve this? A husband could use force to dominate his wife. That does not work so well. We call such husbands abusers, their wives suffer, and the husbands often rightly end in jail. The husband could loudly demand that his wife obey him. That also does not end well. The only way that a husband can be the head of the house is by earning his wife’s respect and love. Real authority has to be earned, and that, oddly, leaves the power with those who choose to submit to that authority. Leaders can only lead if others are willing to follow. God Himself does not force people to submit to Him. He just demonstrates over and over again why He is worthy of our love and obedience. Finally, I would suggest that it is up to the marriage partners to work out the authority structure in their marriage, without anyone else telling them what to do. They are the ones with the responsibility to make it work. They have the most to gain or lose. And that is pretty close to an egalitarian position, one based on cooperation and self-sacrificing love rather than self-centredness and competition.

Furthermore, the problem in our world is not that women will not submit to their husbands but that none of us wants to submit to anyone else. And that leads us to consider Paul’s central teaching in this passage. As I said, we should not get distracted from Paul’s main point. The fact is that most people are both in positions of authority and in subordinate positions, often at the same time. In Paul’s example, a father has authority over his children but is under the authority of his boss at work. The boss in turn is under the authority of the government. And so on.

Paul was not talking about who should be in authority. He was simply accepting the authority structures that existed in his day and telling Christians how to function within them. What he was concerned with was how those in authority and those in submission should act. Since we all are in both situations, both teachings are valid for all of us.

First, those under someone else’s authority were instructed to submit and obey. When those in a subordinate position do not obey, when people decide to break the law for instance, then the organization collapses, and chaos ensues. However, those in the subordinate position are to submit “as is fitting in the Lord.” This is a reminder that God is the ultimate authority and those in a subordinate position can refuse to submit to an earthly authority in order to obey the ultimate authority, God. But this cuts both ways. Those in a subordinate position must do their work “with all their heart,” not primarily to please earthly authority figures but to please God. This requires much more because God sees everything, including the heart, and cannot be fooled as earthly authorities are.

Second, when we are in authority, Paul said that we should love those under our care, be careful not to embitter them, and treat them fairly. This is a heavy responsibility, and this is where many in authority fail. They become unjust, abuse their power, and seek their own benefit rather than the benefit of those under their care—and seeking to benefit others is what love is all about. Jesus taught His followers: “Those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:42-45). Again, Paul reminded those in authority that they are not the ultimate authority. They might have authority over those under them, but they are required to rule in accordance with the rules and guidelines set out by the one in authority over them, God. They were also reminded that God will reward or punish them depending on how well they submit to and obey God—and that includes whether they follow God’s instructions on how to treat those under them.

A boss who loves and cares for those under him or her, serves them, and treats them fairly is more likely to be respected and obeyed. A subordinate who works with all his heart is more likely to be loved and cared for.