Girls, I Owe You an Apology

Through the years as a Christian I’ve taught VBS and Sunday School. I’ve helped at youth group and even facilitated a group for girls. I’ve poured into my daughter and her friends.

Even as an author, my heart is with them. I think of them picking up my books and reading them. I even have a series I’m writing with my daughter with a message to them, and mentors like me, to surrender the lies. Because we’re God’s girls. We’re beautiful. Amazing. And Brilliant.

I’ve shared my high school and college experiences in hopes they would learn from my mistakes. Over and over I’ve told them how precious they are. How beloved by God. And the world will not tell them the truth. The world will have them believe they will be enough with that makeup. Those clothes. This guy. —Julie Arduini

So imagine my surprise when I opened Instagram and saw Jennifer Aniston. A Friends fan, I noted it was her birthday. Her 51st. I looked at the image. A cover of a magazine.

My heart sunk and the lies started.

Next month, I turn 50. And I assure you, people would be able to tell which one is me and which one is her. I fixated on her perfect hair, her youthful features, and her glow.

Then I obsessed over my attributes, or lack of them.

I never know each day if my hair will want to be curly or straight. I do know it’s gray.

When I diffuse my hair, I also have an ice pack to manage the circles under my eyes and help my skin appear youthful.

Last year I remember confessing to applying Aquaphor on my face so I could have a Markle Sparkle, and all I did was break out.

Then my mind went to the recent Super Bowl half-time show where I was so disappointed. It was nothing but an advertisement for things that do anything but respect our gender. Yet the whisper through my mind was, “JLo is 50. You look nothing like her.” And then there’s Mariah Carey. We were born on the same day. And that’s where our things in common end.

I was filled with self-loathing. Even though I’ve lost some weight, it’s no where near the size those women are. I couldn’t find anything positive about myself as I kept staring at that Instagram picture.

Finally I shut my phone off and started working on my Bible reading and study time. The whispers died down and wisdom came to mind. God’s loving reminders.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

I am clothed with strength and dignity. I can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25

I am God’s masterpiece. Ephesians 2:10

I am altogether beautiful. There is no flaw in me. Song of Solomon 4:7

How quickly I forgot the truth I’ve spent years praying into other women and girls. I don’t know those celebrities beyond what I see online, but I know they are in tabloids all the time. They have had all their marriages up for fodder, and laughter from the world when they ended. My sense is with their public persona, they probably struggle knowing who is a true friend and who wants to use them for their celebrity. And as beautiful as they are, I forgot the most important thing: those magazines are airbrushed and edited.

In other words, not real.

I hope those ladies, and all women in that industry, know or soon come to know what I forgot. That they are God’s creation. So precious to Him. And comparing themselves is such a game from the pit of hell. How they can only be fulfilled in a relationship with Christ.

I pray the women and girls I pray with and encourage never struggle with the lies from the true defeated one. God has such an amazing plan for all of them. For all of us.

Even when we’re about to turn 50.


Here are a couple resources I use that encourage me in God’s promises:

Free Resources from The Passion Translation

Loop for Women

About juliearduini

Julie Arduini loves to encourage readers to find freedom in Christ by surrendering the good, the bad, and ---maybe one day---the chocolate. She’s the author of the new contemporary romance series SURRENDERING HEARTS (Anchored Hearts, Repairing Hearts, +four more.) Her other romance series is SURRENDERING TIME (Entrusted, Entangled, Engaged.) She also co-wrote a YA series with her daughter, SURRENDERING STINKIN’ THINKIN’ (You’re Beautiful, You’re Amazing, You’re Brilliant.) Her stand-alone romances include MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN and RESTORING CHRISTMAS. Julie maintains a blog at and participates in the team blog Christians Read. She resides in Ohio with her husband and two children. Learn more by visiting her at
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13 Responses to Girls, I Owe You an Apology

  1. I can understand where you are coming from. A few years back when Madonna performed in the half time show for the Super Bowl, I was in awe at the way she moved and danced, especially since she too was over 50. However, while all those ladies might have what the world says is good, we know we have something much greater. A relationship with Jesus. I don’t know if those ladies have that or not. But at least we know we do. And when it’s all said and done, that is what matters most. Thank you for sharing your heart in this post. It can be a struggle to live in the world, but not of the world. And thanks for sharing the resources as well. I pray we all can walk confidently in our true identity in Jesus.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great message, Julie. Those who truly love you will look at you and see your beauty no matter how much oil is glistening from your skin or whether your hair is curly or straight because they see your heart. Now, I look in the mirror and admire myself and say, “Not bad for 80.” Of course, I’m not anywhere close to 80.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Lorraine says:

    Gee..why did I think that I was the only one who thought these thoughts. Lol. But there is also the stark reality that although I may not be beautiful, agile, limber and wealthy as they are, the truth is that I see so many women in life who are worse off: are scarred physically from abuse, are far older looking than their years from living a hard life as a single mom wondering where her children’s next meal will come from or maybe a women fighting on going disease such as mental illness or an eating disorder where they are judged or starred at every day of their lives. The old adage that you can always find someone better off than you and you can always find someone worse off than you is so true. I choose to focus on exactly where I am at and thank God for it and while I’m at it..
    pray for everyone else!! What a great message today!! Thank you!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Nancy J. Farrier says:

    So true, Julie. The world shouts at us, but God whispers truth. We have to be willing to ignore the noise of the world and listen to Him. Thank you for being so open.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Tina says:

    Excellent message! Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Thank you, Julie, for being so open about this.
    It seems like lies about beauty need to be swatted back out of my head almost daily, so it’s nice to be reminded that other women are battling their way to wholeness as well. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • juliearduini says:

      Sara Jane, one key truth I tell others that I forgot is that the enemy’s real name that he doesn’t want us to know is the defeated one. Because his resources are few, he uses the same old lie to make us feel defeated. Well, no more! We are beautiful, amazing, and brilliant in Christ’s name! Thank you for reading—and if you’d like fictional encouragement in this area, check out You’re Amazing and You’re Beautiful by me and my daughter Hannah. Blessings!

      Liked by 1 person

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