“Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.” C. S. Lewis on the death of his wife, Joy.

Loss happens to all of us, and the initial pain feels unbearable. The death of a loved one. The death of a dream. The loss of a home, a job, a community. 

Whether the loss is through death or divorce or the willful actions of others, it’s always hard. It feels as if you’ll be trapped in that awful moment, that unbearable situation, that unspeakable hurt forever.

No matter what the circumstances of your loss, don’t lash out. Don’t say things you can never take back If you are about to lose someone close to you through personal confrontation, don’t fling accusations and jump onto the defensive.  Listen. Ask questions. Be calm. What you say can make a bad situation worse.

Words have enormous power. They can heal, soothe, uplift, and inspire or they can lacerate like a sword, creating wounds that will never heal. 

We’re all children of God, muddling through this life with the tools we were given, both through birth and circumstance.

After a loss, it’s natural to turn to friends for support. Some people will hold your hand while you go through the stages of loss: grief, anger, denial, more grief, and finally acceptance. Others will be all too ready to throw fuel on your fire and stoke your anger until it burns so white hot it takes away all reason. Or they will give you dreadful advice that creates more chaos. That person is not your friend. Walk away.The One who is your friend is right there at your side, always. He loves you so much He gave His only son to die for you so you could have life, eternal.

In Carthage, Texas, there is a magnificent statue of Jesus, carrying one of His children. Behind the statue, a concrete walkway is set with two sets of prints that gradually become one. Engraved on the entrance to the monument is the beautiful poem, Footprints in the Sand.

Here is the last section of the poem:

“Lord, You said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way.

But I during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints.

The Lord replied, “My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

In your times of loss, turn to God. He will carry you until you are strong enough to walk again.

God is good.

Peggy Webb