This is one of the posts where I feel like there’s one person out there who needs to read this and be encouraged. I believe the bloggers here are transparent and helpful, but you might have the thought because we are Christian authors, we are perfect.

Don’t believe the lie!

We’re as flawed as anyone, maybe more so because we have characters that talk to us every day. I face temptations and I continue to sin not because I believe my relationship with Jesus is a free pass, but because in the flesh I fail. I try do do things on my own strength.

Speaking of strength, I recently felt depleted and wanted to walk you through that. Not because the episode was fun, but again, I feel someone will be encouraged.

I take anti-depressants. I resisted for decades thinking by admitting I needed help for my severe hormonal imbalance, it was a sign I was less than as a Christian. That’s a lie from the pit of hell.

Would I deny myself treatment if I had cancer? Of course not. So why did I wait so long to receive this medicine?

When I forget to take it, it doesn’t take long for me to realize it. I spiral, and fast.

Last week I realized I forgot the meds AND I ran out of Black Kohosh, a supplement that keeps my volcanic body temp at bay. It was a recipe for disaster. I didn’t just forget, the medicine fell in between a crack and I wasn’t sure if that happened the day before, or earlier in the week.

The first statge for me when I spiral is I get weepy. It can be a touching commercial, a memory, or even a predictable sitcom with a horrible laugh track. That tends to clue me in that perhaps I forgot my meds. I’m not a crier by nature.

The next stage is an odd grief. Out of nowhere I start to cry and miss my parents. My actual grief I talk about them and I tear up. When I start to cry and think to myself I miss my Dad, I know I forgot my meds. It’s hard to explain but it isn’t normal grief for me.

This most recent event I skipped the second stage and quickly transitioned to I want to be with Jesus. I will irrationally process all the ways I’ve accomplished God’s will and my time is done. I’m sobbing and I just want to go Home. This is when I know I need meds fast. When I was younger without medical assistance I got to stage four once, and it took me to the bathroom where I held pills in my hand. I don’t want to go there.

The freefall leaves me physically and mentally depleted. I feel beat up on the inside and out. I felt this last time like I was on an out of control train trying to use my feet as brakes. It wasn’t helpful and I felt hurt.

It isn’t easy to share this and I’m thankful to say the next morning I was basically good to go. I write this because there’s no shame in struggling with imbalance, depression, or anxiety There’s nothing wrong going to the doctor and admitting you need help/

I tell my family when I’m struggling and what to expect, and what I need. Why make them guess and tip-toe for reaction when I can be sure to fill them in? I also told a friend who prayed for me and checked in the next morning.

Yes, I’m a Christan author but I’m not perfect. I write stories about flawed people who find freedom in Christ because that’s reality. He gives peace and freedom. I’m proof of that. As a reader, I’m not interested in perfect characters with happy circumstances. I can’t relate to that and I bet you can’t either.

You can stop the spiral. Jesus and His leading is the way. Sometimes that means medicine, and that’s okay.

If you are struggling, Heavenly Father, I pray over my friend and ask You heal them. Re wire anything that needs re configuring. Touch anything that needs healing. Give them divine connections, including doctors, who can lead them to wellness. If they do not know You in a personal way, I pray they hunger and thirst for You. Lord, renew their minds. Re train their brains and eradicate all dark thoughts and word curses from them. May they live abundantly in Your peace and freedom, in Jesus name. Amen!.

—Julie Arduini