Speaking with Alexa by James R. Coggins

When our daughter told my wife and me that she was giving us Alexa for Christmas, I admit it was the cause of some confusion. Entirely our fault, of course. We’re old and out of touch. Once we had clarified that she was not gifting us with a new granddaughter or a puppy or an endearingly named car, we were still a little mystified.

We finally understood that Alexa is an electronic globe that can tell us anything we want to know and do innumerable other things for us. I was still a bit confused. Did I really need a woman’s voice telling me everything I needed to know? I thought that was covered when I got married.

I had had some experience with Alexa. I mean the electronic globe Alexa in case my wife is reading this and might misunderstand.

You see, our daughter has Alexa. The same Alexa, but not the same Alexa. Apparently, Alexa has been cloned.

I was at our daughter’s house and was quizzing my grandson on the times table. I asked, “What’s six times seven?”

Without hesitation, he answered, “Alexa, what’s six times seven?”

An electronic voice answered immediately. Since Alexa knows everything, the times table should be a piece of cake. She got it right. I think.

I read something about Alexa on the Internet. A man asked, Alexa, why don’t my romantic relationships ever work out?” There was a pause, and then an electric voice answered, “This is Siri.”

Since our daughter is acquainted with Alexa, I thought she might be interested in hearing this story. I went to her house to tell her. I said, “There was a story on the Internet about a man who asked, ‘Alexa, why don’t my romantic relationships ever work out?’”

Before I could finish telling the story, an electronic voice answered, “Maybe it’s because you’re a drug addict or an alcoholic or because you gambled away all your money.”

Alexa might not know everything, but she sure is a know-it-all.