A friend recently looked at my Goodreads reading list and found it funny that for a fiction author, my reading consists of a lot of nonfiction. I love learning!

This season I have been working through a lot of Bible studies and related materials. There has been Rebekah Lyons and Building a Resilient Life. Alisa Keeton and The Body Revelation. Laura Krokos and You are Unshaken. These books are revealing painful layers from my past and healing them. For too long I stuffed pain, and that’s not healthy.

Healing from pain takes action. From Rebekah Lyons I learned we have to not only name the pain, but shift the narrative. Through YouVersion’s plan on Setting Boundaries for Toxic People by Vladimir Savchuk I was dumbfounded by the simplest truth.

Jesus set boundaries.

Sure, I knew He went to the lake for private time.

I knew any time He could escape the crowds and have moments with His Dad, He did.

But Jesus set boundaries.

“Jesus did not go back to Pilate, Herod, or the Pharisees after His resurrection…where there is no repentance, there cannot be reconciliation.” He goes on, “If you have someone in your life who throws a spear at you once, twice, or even three times and they are not repentant, walk away because there is no trust there.”

Vladimir Savchuk, Setting Boundaries for Toxic People

I can err on the side of not just tough love, but harsh love. It’s easy for me to erect a wall and visually proclaim people can’t have access to me. If I did that for everyone and just let my dogs love me, that’s not healthy or Biblical.

But through David’s example, I realize he never let Saul have access to him once Saul became toxic. He respected Saul. He wept at Saul’s funeral. But Saul threw spears David’s way more than once. Saul lost access to David. And that’s healthy to walk that out if the situation is similar.

I love a good visual and I tried to picture Jesus conquering death, busting out of the tomb, and seeking out Herod. Pilate. The Pharisees. These men were not repentant and did not want to befriend Jesus. They were about stabbing Him in the back. Jesus went to those who wanted to change. That’s where He spent His time.

If that’s a model Jesus lived by, boundaries are healthy for us, too.

As I walk out my own healing journey, that’s a nugget I found and wanted to share with you. I hope it encourages you today!