In February our church hosted a one day women’s retreat. We had a guest speaker and our Pastor’s wife found a group to do the music—except that group backed out just three weeks before the retreat. So the pastor’s wife sent an email to all the women who are on the worship teams, including the Spanish worship team, asking for help.

I emailed her back and said I would be happy to help out. I play the keyboard for the worship team once or twice a month and sometimes sing—usually as a backup singer. I was expecting some of the others to step up to play guitar, drums, flute, or just to sing, but that’s not what happened. We ended up with me playing keyboard and singing and one of the Spanish worship team ladies singing with me. 

The pastor’s wife asked me to pick out the music. And then I got Covid. My head hurt so bad and my thinking was too fuzzy to focus. I prayed about the songs and picked some out but wasn’t even sure they would work. I had a little over a week until we were to practice, but I felt rough.

Discouragement set in and I whined to God. I knew He’d nudged me to volunteer but why the Covid right when I needed to be able to concentrate? I thought, “God, You own the musicians on a thousand hills, please send some to do this music.” Okay, that may be cattle on a thousand hills, but at this point I would take a Disneyesque animated cow playing the keyboard and singing in my place.

The funny thing about whining and having a pity party is that you leave yourself open to the enemy invading your thoughts. My head was filled with discouragement. Thoughts like—Your piano skills are subpar. Or,  Your voice isn’t good enough. That one felt especially true since Covid brought a dry throat and coughing. 

Finally, I realized this pity party had to stop. I prayed and God led me to 2 Corinthians 12:9 where God tells Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you…” 

From there, He led me to Psalm 42:1, reminding me, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for You, my God.” 

I realized that I’d been depending on myself, not God to supply what I needed to lead the worship at the ladies retreat. Of course, I was in a panic. I’m not enough. I’ll never be enough. I have to rely on God’s strength and His grace to succeed. He also reminded me that in my discouragement, I wasn’t “panting” for Him but was looking for worldly reassurances.

Once I had my priorities straight, I moved forward with healing and with practicing. God provided what I needed, just as He will provide what you need when He asks you to do something that is hard. He’ll give you the strength, the help, the grace to get through the task and you can give all the glory to Him, because it is His doing.

On the day of the retreat, we had two sets of music, one for the morning session and one for the afternoon. As I was pondering how God had led me to do the music, I realized the songs were significant, especially for the afternoon session. The first song was Your Grace is Enough and the closing song was All Who Are Thirsty. Both of those songs were based on scriptures God led me to when I asked for His help. He chose those songs when I was too sick to really focus and used them that day to cement the teaching in my heart.

When life starts to get you down and you’re discouraged, remember that God’s grace is sufficient to see you through. Drink deep of the water He offers and avoid that pity party at all costs. God loves you and wants the best for you.