When my wife and I got married forty-six years ago, friends, family members, and church members gave us a wide variety of much needed gifts, helping us to get established as we set out to build a life and a family together.

Along with the gifts were cards, and often the cards had handwritten Bible verses on them. People did that in those days. They knew the Bible (better than most people today) and thought it relevant and important for life.

Some verses were prayers for and assurances of blessing (these are taken from the New American Standard Bible 1995):

• “The Lord bless you, and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace” (Numbers 6:24-26).

• “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you all” (2 Corinthians 13:14).

• “May the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another, and for all people” (1 Thessalonians 3:12).

• “The Lord will open for you His good storehouse, the heavens, to give rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hand” (Deuteronomy 28:12).

• “The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail” (Isaiah 58:11).

• “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty…You will not be afraid of the terror by night, or of the arrow that flies by day; of the pestilence that stalks in darkness, or of the destruction that lays waste at noon…No evil will befall you, nor will any plague come near your tent. For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in all your ways…‘With a long life I will satisfy him and let him see My salvation’” (Psalm 91:1,5,6,10,11,16).

• “Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and song and He has become my salvation…Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name…Praise the Lord in song, for He has done excellent things” (Isaiah 12:2,4,5).

Other verses acknowledged that life could and would be difficult and offered encouragement, admonishment, and guidance for those challenging times:  

• “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful” (Colossians 3:12-15).

• “Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22).

• “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26). This was the verse, given to us by two different people, that puzzled us the most. We loved each other and were confident that we could never be angry with each other. As time went on, we realized that it was one of the most useful pieces of advice we could have received. People are sinful, people see things differently, and it is inevitable that conflicts will arise, in marriage as in any other relationship. Following the advice given in this verse, we made it a rule never to go to bed angry. We might not have resolved the issue on which we disagreed, but we resolved to forgive and keep loving each other. Anger builds a wall, and if it is not torn down immediately and is still there the next morning, the wall will get bigger, day after day, until the two people can no longer see each other and the wall will be very difficult to tear down.

• “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17).

• “Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

• “He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully” (2 Corinthians 9:6). This verse reminded us that we will only get out of marriage what we put into it. Marriage requires a full effort and gives a full blessing.

• “Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ” (Ephesians 5:21).

• “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Together, these verses offer useful guidance for marriage that is still valid today. They present a philosophy of marriage that is quite different from the romantic ideas that are so prevalent today. The people who gave us these verses knew from experience that marriage could be a great blessing. They also understood that marriage is a serious and important undertaking and requires serious commitment. They did not expect that life would be easy for a married couple and offered guidance for tough times and encouragement to persevere. They knew that we were imperfect people who would fail and need each other’s forgiveness and grace. They knew that we were not sufficient to achieve a successful marriage or a successful life on our own, but that we would need God’s help. In our marriage, they saw us as doing more than just loving each other and our family but also building and contributing to the society around us. They saw that our lives were to have a purpose that would go far beyond our relationship as husband and wife.