I’ve always wondered what it would be like to include an advice column in one of my novels. It isn’t something I’d ever consider doing in real life, because I don’t want the responsibility of messing up a living person’s life with the wrong advice–and I’m capable of doing just that. I’m a novelist, after all, not a psychiatrist. However, I have a fictional character in need, and I’m going to attempt to help him here. If you have words of advice for him, I’d welcome them, because he’s in dire straits emotionally right now in the novel I’m writing. Prepare to suspend disbelief…

Dear Hannah,

You’re my last hope. I’ve done practically everything wrong my whole life, and in doing so have doubled my family’s wealth while hurting those most dear to me. I would give away my billions for a do-over. I realize you’re not a priest-confessor, but you have the power to change my life. I’m sorry for trampling the hearts of my ex-wife and my daughter in order to rake in the money. I nearly ruined the life of the best doctor who ever worked for me by breaking her engagement with lies to get her for myself. After a recent brush with death I’ve taken a new look at myself, and I hate what I see. My ex-wife has found love again, my daughter is growing up with me in the periphery of her life. There is a woman I truly love, but she’s so much more honorable than I. How do I make up for all the harm I’ve done? How do I become worthy of this woman I love?

Weston

Dear Weston,

In the Bible, Jesus told the rich young ruler to give up all his wealth to follow Him. You said you’d be willing to give away your billions for a do-over, but would you really? Can you possibly stop depending on wealth to define yourself? You’ve lived so long for the next high of cutting a deal, manipulating others to serve you. Can you live without that? Money is all you’ve known or understood. If you were to marry this worthy woman you love, would you truly love her, or would you go back to your old habits? I’m sorry, but you’ll need to prove yourself by doing what you said. Let me know what you decide.

Hannah